I don’t know when people’s relationships with their job started to change, but before the 1990s or 2000s, it seems like most people remained employed at the same company for decades and often for their entire working life. That’s just anecdotal but this blog post is helpful in highlighting some of the major shifts in the employee-employer relationship driving lower job tenure: e.g. less on-the-job training, a broad shift from pensions to 401Ks, etc.
I used to tell my parents whenever I got a new job, but after changing jobs a number of times, I’ve stopped telling them to avoid getting questions about why I’m working for a new company again.
The employer-employee relationship has changed, especially in the US, some of it in good ways, some bad. It’s certainly more of a “free market” for labor where the situations people benefit from these changes are employees in more privileged positions (e.g. higher education, more experience, people who are white or male, etc). In contrast, employees considered less desirable in the labor market suffer from a lack of employee protections, pensions, networks, etc. I say all this to acknowledge that many people don’t have the same degree of labor mobility I do and I recognize it’s a privilege to be able to change jobs for some of the reasons I’ll mention later on.
If you’re in a position to improve your job situation for any reason, there is no reason to feel guilt or hesitation. It’s tempting to Google “average job tenure”, see that most people are sticking with their jobs longer than you, and think “maybe there’s something wrong with me”. It’s easy to start wondering if maybe you’re not resilient enough; that you don’t have the “grit” that everyone talks about as a characteristic of a “successful” person. We all need to work that out ourselves, but at the same time, I’m going to guess that in the vast majority of situations where people want to leave their jobs, there is a valid reason for feeling that way. Do not feel any sense of shame, failure, or doubt in moving on.
It is a reality that the majority of our workplaces — management, organizational structures, processes, and systems — are toxic and not designed to build people up so they can reach their fullest potential. It’s sad that for all the investment in research at the top business schools and the inspiring books written by experts in leadership, such a small percentage of organizations and leaders put those ideas and principles into practice.
So if you have the itch to leave your job, know that your feelings are valid. In the US, most employment is at-will — the employer can fire you at any time and as an employee, you should recognize you have a right to “fire” your employer at any time if you don’t feel like they’re holding up their side of the relationship. This could be a lack of recognition, limited opportunities for personal or professional growth, incompetent or toxic managers, etc.
It’s quite unfortunate that there’s very little attention and investment in fixing the employer-employee relationship at most companies. The acquisition costs for a new employee — recruiting, interviewing, onboarding, training — are enormous. It’s really bad for companies to waste that investment in new employee acquisition by seeing good employees leave after less than two years on the job. It’s not ideal for employees either. While many of my job tenures have been short, I certainly don’t celebrate that — I genuinely would have liked to stay longer but not at the expense of achieving my goals and maintaining my mental health. It’s a lose-lose situation for both the employer and employee when job tenures are cut short.
Deciding whether to leave your job or not is difficult and complicated. If you have a family, it’s also not just about you since a new job can impose changes upon the lives of your loved ones. However, no one should feel any self-doubt about wanting to be the best they can be and having the desire to leave their job because they don’t see a path to success in their current role. Employers can do so much more to retain good employees; oftentimes, the barriers involve toxic leadership or process the company is afraid to change. It’s a win-win for the companies and their employees that can implement the changes that need to be made to improve retention and provide pathways to success within a psychologically healthy environment.
